Jesse and I on our wedding date almost 10 years ago.
I am blessed.......I mean I am REALLY blessed, I have struggled to see that as this winter has passed and tragedy has come and gone but when I look around at the end of the day I know with all my heart I am a blessed woman. I have five beautiful children whom I love with all my heart, a husband who I still am madly and deeply in love with, and a supportive family and friends who I love so much.
This March we lost a mother, Jesses mom who I have loved and adored for a very long time. When I first met her all those years ago she welcomed me with open arms, I will never forget her game of bummely bummely buck...... how many fingers do I hold up? How many times she played the "game" with me and with each and everyone of my children. The days of rising so early before the sun would even rise and picking whatever plant needed harvesting at the moment and talking REALLY talking as we worked. I remember her beautiful hands helping me and teaching me to make bread, or can, or cook. I remember the drives I took with mom and the wonderful and sweet advice she gave me. I remember the long drives we would go with everyone to go see the bright leaves. I remember the time when I was in college and sick with the flu and she was there with lemonade and stuck with me throughout the day trying to help me get better and telling me stories of my soon to be husband. I remember my wedding day and how I looked at my own mom and my soon to be mother in law thinking how wonderfuly blessed I was that day. She has been an incredible example to me in my life and her sudden death was a blow to all those around. I love this woman and I am blessed with the knowledge that someday I will see her again and the fact that we are eternally linked and for that I am so grateful. So for now I will revel in my family a little better, I will let them know how I love them and respect them, I will hug my own children a little bit longer, I will listen to that still small voice inside my heart closer and hope to be a little more like my mother in law who taught me so much.
It was a beautiful funeral and seeing my family was so wonderful my sweet friend Annika came up and seeing her was just so amazing. My father in law was absolutely incredible his unshakable faith and sweet spirit throughout this trial has instilled a new look at the world around me, his love for Sozel has changed my own love for Jesse helping it to grow even more. I am so proud to have such amazing in laws and seeing all of them truly helped this experience to be a good thing, a celebration of a beautiful life lived.
Our family is doing well this winter has been a long one and with that a little bit of light depression for all, but we are hanging in there and feel so lucky to live in "Gods Country" Alaska is truly magical and beautiful. I almost ran smack into 3 caribou meandering throughout the road the other day and thought only in Alaska would I have this problem. Spring is coming though the sun is out and so are the airplanes, did you know Alaska has more pilots then any other state? Yep they come out whenever the sun does! The moose are also springing forth we had a friend who just fed a baby moose carrots and pet him in his front driveway!
My family and I are just so excited for the summer to be able to get our boat out and go fishing! or even just cruise up and down the Kenai! Life is good and I have to remember that, because at the end of the day I have my family, I have my beliefs, and I have a wonderful support system.