2nd kiddo to the ER...

Well it happened... again..... I honestly thought it would be lil Kyran that ended up in the hospital again before the others but no.... little Zade thought he would be a daredevil and go there..... What happened? I know thats what I had to ask since I was not there to witness the actual event all I had was my 7 year olds explanation of how it all went down.

It all started with a trampoline (dang you trampoline all these years with no broken bones and injuries and now that record is ruined!) I hear some crying but that is a normal thing and then Landon screaming for me to come. So I booked it out there and Kyran is crying even harder I assume it is him that is hurt but no it is Kyran that had caused the wreck. Apparently they were wrestling Kyran grabbed Zades wrist twisted it and all 2 boys fell on Zade and Landon heard a funny noise. That was followed with a brief explanation how a dog was barking in the distance oh how I love kiddos explanations of everything.

Zade was trying to be tough but by the time I got him off the trampoline he was just sobbing that I am hurt bad kind of sobbing..... I almost teared up myself carried him inside that is when I noticed him clutching his lil arm and it was swelling up FAST! So we got some ice and I asked him to move his arm no luck and arm is still swelling so we pack it up and call Hiedi and then Katy and Jedd. Thank HEAVENS Katy came to the rescue it would have been NO fun to drag all 4 kiddos to the ER so she took two and I took Kyran so he could see what being so rough with his brothers and sisters could cause. So off we go and of COURSE the ER is just packed with people but they get Zade right in and he is still just sobbing.... His arm is just swollen and red they are almost positive it is broken won't give us meds for him to help because they are thinking he may need surgery. So we wait....and wait.....and then some more waiting I think 2 or 2 ambulances came in while we were there they get him xrayed and say well he may or may not have a fractured wrist. So they cast him up in a special splint and the PA student who did it was so busy asking me about jobs that I had found for Jesse he started putting the casting on backwards grrrrrrrr. I asked him to please pay attention to my child they got that on he started putting his sling on backwards so he had to redo that .... so finally we are done and Zade is just screaming and the doctor turns and says "If it was me Id be drinking a gallon of whiskey tonight" I was not a happy girl with that comment and replyed if his arm hadn't been messed with so much he would probably not be screaming so much. So we left with a very sad Zade and gathered the kiddos and went home. Zade didnt sleep much at all that night he was in so much pain it broke my heart but the night after he did so much better and now he had discovered he can use his arm as a weapon so I think all in all he is tickled pink with his new accessory.

I am so thankful it was just that and it keeps me humbled as to my children are my life in all ways they come first. I would have gladly given my arm up for Zade but unfortunatley I could not do that and makes me think about the future. How my kids are all gonna hurt and have their hearts broken I will want to take it for them but will not be able to much like all parents. Including our Heavenly Father he sees us all hurt and go through painful experiences both physically, emotionally, and spiritually but he gives us the greatest gift and lets us grow from them how we will. While that may be bitterness and resentment that we grow or if we think it through it is love an forgiveness and the sweet calm and purity that grow with it slowly but surely if we let it. So here we go kiddos yes go play and be kids try not to hurt one another but if you do I am here to fix you physically and help heal that hurt heart but ultimately if I can show you to turn to your Father in heaven for the healing of your soul I will be a success as a mother and will rest easy.

My angelic kiddos....

So here I am again this pregnant lady alone with my loving husband away at work and the kiddos all put to bed. I look at them and I am convinced that they are perfect little angels and sigh and think THIS right here is why I do it everyday. I get up early and give them breakfast and clean them and love them even when they are stinkers right here I know that God gave me 4 angels that will be someone. They will always be a son to me, they will be a brother or sister, they will be a grandson, they will be a husband, and whoever it is that they will become it will be great.

Then there is that overwhelming thought of my part in what they become will I guide them? will I push them in the correct way or come off to harsh or smothering..... will they remember the tender moments that I loved them and told stories to them or will they remember when I was weak and yelled at them or became angry at them. I look back on my own upbringing and remember the good and the bad and what I want to take from those experiences and make into my own parenting style. Then I take a deep breath and thank heaven that I have such a good and wonderful man that is by my side to calm me down and be an example in his own way and I know he thinks the same things.

Then I take it a step further and think about my Heavenly Father was he this frantic does he still think the same things when we are in bed not wreaking havoc out in the world? He loves every single one of us with all his heart I know he does I have felt it and I will never deny that. Does he think hopefully Heather will do better tomarrow it will be a fresh start and she will start out right and rested as I so often think about with my own children... Will she remember what I have taught her will she listen to that small voice in her heart or will she be stubborn and push the harder way through this particular lesson. I think of the hard times I have been through and how I have handled them and I have the startling realization that my children have apparently learned more then me. When someone hits or pushes them they forgive almost instantly can I say that? no it has taken me months and years to forgive some that have hurt me... When I make a mistake I constantly think about it over and over in my head replaying it and getting mad at myself for making that mistake. My darling children make a mistake and when they realize it will come and apologize, give kisses and hugs, and go on their merry little way usually learning.

So here I am thinking about my children and how I can teach them and I realize it is them that have taught me in the ultimate way...... The way of the Savior there is a reason that he said "Be like the little children" if only we would simplify our thinking and lives we can become more like them and him all at once. So now I am smiling because I have 4 beautiful angels that are more like the savior then I and one on the way.... Perhaps the reason I have so many children is because I need that many examples in my life..... I love you Landon, Kyran, Zade, Riya, and Baby Girl thank you for being the inspiration and beautiful examples to me that you are.

I am so proud of you Jesse

my beautiful family
camping ok no shower fun hike down though!
ahhhhh the beach!
yeah we were really tired what can I say
ahhh home sweet home right before my baby left on his rotation! one of the many that is!
So seriously

I think that you all my hurl with all my cheesiness and mushiness lately I am convinced it is the pregnancy hormones kicked up to full throttle.... but this week my heart and my eyes have turned to my amazing husband and all he does. I mean seriously he has given so much and has so much on his plate that I am sure he feels crushed with pressure.

He has given up time with his kids, wife, and lots of time from his home to pursue schooling so that we all may have the best future possible. If I had made a list of the perfect husband and given it to Heavenly Father he would still be more then I had ever hoped for. He is kind to me and has been so understanding and loving to me even when I am stubborn and hormonal, he is the most amazing father he is stern but loving and his boys absolutely adore him and Riya well forget about it she is a daddys girl through and through, he spoils me rotten more so then I should be but is always striving to make me happy. Through tough stuff he has held my hand and always made me his number one priority in other words I love this man so much.

With fathers day approaching I hope that my kids sit back just for a minute and realize how lucky they are and know how special their daddy is. He is my hero and I am married to him which so mushy and cheesy but it is the truth. So here is to all the amazing husbands and fathers out there take a day and realize that more then likely your wives think the exact same of of you. To my love I love you more then the day before and will continue to love forever and always.

My heart is full.....ode to mom :0)

I have been thinking ... alot lately about life ... about family... about trials things that we trudge through thinking our world is literally crumbling around us only to be brought to the realization this is normal. We are not picked on .... we are not cursed ..... or unlucky for that matter... I have many times labeled myself as this unlucky one the one everything happens too.... Yes oh man we have gone through many many trials sometimes it seems they are so much larger and harder then others but then I look at others that I would in no way want to switch places with.

We are prepared as a young child for what comes into our future. I think about watching my mother you see we never got along never saw eye to eye. We said hurtful things and fought many nights. It was hard but on the flip side I dont think my mother realizes the things that I pulled from her and how she shaped me in ways I dont think she realizes. First of all I am adopted it is well known I have always known since day one that I had a biological mother but my mom never batted an eye when introducing me as HER daughter she shaped me to have a very positive outlook on adoption and made me want to adopt someday. When I was older and told it would be hard for me to have children I never batted an eye because I knew it would be the same luckily I was blessed enough to be very able to have my beautiful children but I have a very warm place for adoption. Next my mother is smart I mean like beyond smart she takes great pride in her education and teaching. She taught children with disabilites for as long as I can remember and I was able to help and be around those children frequently opening my heart to them it was never an ackward thing to be around children with disabilities I thought they were special and protected and that made me love them more. Then low and behold I give birth to my 3rd baby and at 18 months he is diagnosed with autism... did I crumble absolutely I cried and got mad that I was "picked on" I had many doctors and counselers and therapist throwing words and names and labels at me it was hard. Thankfully I was prepared from my childhood and you know what turns out my baby boy has made MILES of progress and he is the absolute joy and love of my life. He is that big sweet teddy bear that loves without control those he bonds with he never forgets it has been months since he saw his grandpa or pepaw and he still asks where he is and misses him. So there Mom look at that look how you have shaped me we still don't always see eye to eye but here I am a mother of almost 5 gorgeous children married for all eternity to the love of my life. I am grateful I was sent to you and dad it was hard yes but you know what if that was what I had to do all these trials I have gone through and will continue to go through well it is worth it .... because in the end I have my beautiful family all of whom I love. We get in fights, we hurt, we say hurtful things, but then we forgive and have a beautiful knowledge that we have grown. Throughout these 2 years if I can say anything about it all to sum it up it would be that I have grown more then I could have ever thought. We were sent to Portland for a reason... I am in Rexburg Idaho for a reason we are all entertwined in the complex beautiful plan and I am so thankful..... so there it is me spilling my guts in ode to mothers day or maybe its just a brief moment of clarity in this crazy thing we call life. I want all to know I am so grateful for my life my family and the beautiful gospel without my savior I would not have made it these past 2 years I know he listened to me when I was hurting I know he is there to pick up the pieces he is there plain and simple.

Ever wonder what your little boy would look like if Santa came to your house ;)Oh man we were SOOOO dirty but I LOVE MOTORBIKING
Ahhh trip to Iowa we got to see SO many friends it was awesome

Oh Patti Su I love ya girl!After our HUGE bike trip to Yellowstone..... THIS is what love looks like he is my strength I love ya Jesse....

More pictures

This is the play I directed "The Parable of the Ten Virgins" Im on the far left it was a GREAT experience!!Little Landon right before he sang he was so so gooood!!!

This was just the other day she is getting SO SOOO big!!!
MeMaw at Christmas with her boys MOVIE NIGHT!!

So this picture cracks me up because EVERY person on that trail in Yellowstone gave Jesse SUCH a hard time that I was the one dragging all 4 kids through.... but he had just got his new bike and was doing tricks and jumping off stuff it was a great day..... well all except almost running into a buffalo that was scary she had a new baby and was NONE to happy to see us!

Its been 1000 years since I last posted.....

she is getting HUGE



This was this summer that was a great day!
So SERIOUSLY it has been WAY WAY to long since I last put up a blog updating everyone on our lives lately.... SO much has gone down since we moved back to Idaho and it has been such a STINKING hard year one full of trials and tough times.. However, it has also been a year full of angels, outright miracles, and growth that we would have never achieved with out the trials.

We had a almost tragedy on the coast of Oregon last summer when Landon was hit by a 500 pd (at LEAST) log that rolled over the top of him and pinned him underwater. Luckily there was a guy there who helped us lift the log just in time and other then being really REALLY bruised he ended up being ok. Then we hit a rock and flattened our tire, our bulldog went into early labor and Jesse and I ended up doing a emergancy csection to save her life (NEVER in my life did I picture myself in a liquor store asking for their strongest alcohol but we used that to "loosen" her up and help her get through it all) Jesse was amazing and seriously almost like a pro with it all I was so impressed with him and so was the doctor on that rotation.

We then had some personal drama that was very hurtful but we have also gotten through while our egos were definately bruised and feelings hurt we have come out the other side getting to know things about ourselves and about other people definately good things to know...

We then made the trip out to Iowa as Jesses next rotation was going to be in Ohio and I thought I might as well stop in and say hi to everyone which was MOST excellent it was a great trip and I was soo sad to leave Jesse and return home by myself but I figured it was just going to be a long drive oh boy I was so SOO wrong. On the way home my whole fuel pump went dead I was literally going 15 mph at the end on the highway and pulled into a little town called Potter Nebraska and luckily cruised into a little tiny mechancal shop there. After a LONG 3-4 hr wait in there we hopped in the car and made our way to Rawlings Wyoming where we checked in to a rundown hotel and collapsed in bed. Later that night I woke up to someone knocking on my window I sat up feeling incredibly dizzy but made my way to the window and no one was there it was around 2 AM I then looked over and noticed Riya and thrown up all over and as I looked at my kids sleeping they didnt look right it didnt FEEL right.... so I went over to Kyran and tried to wake him up.... nothing.... he did not wake up at ALL and in my heart of hearts I felt the need to get out of that room as soon as I could. I got my stuff and kids loaded up after telling the hotel clerk that there was something wrong with our room that she needed to check it out and when I went in with her she noticed that the heat had gotten turned on somehow (this was the HOT summer time) anyways I got out of there crying and tired and upset but thankful I woke up at all... Later Landon would tell others that he remember someone knocking on the door or window it was nice to know someone other then myself heard that knock. So I called Jesse sobbing and some of my dearest friends came to the rescue Lila and Joel and by around 4 or 5 am I was able to stop there and get some much needed sleep.

It was a horrible trip from my perspective but I also see the many miracles I mean seriously in the middle of NO where in Nebraska I found the one little mechanical shop. Then in Wyoming some mysterious knocking wakes me up to notice all my children are viciously ill.... another growing experience for sure.

So that brings me to being able to go down to Texas to see my brother and his amazing girlfriend Jessica. They found out they were expecting and I was so thrilled to be able to go meet her I was REALLY hoping Isabelle would make her apperance there but no such luck. However, I had a really amazing time there and will never forget it.

So now we are rounding the corner to the almost last part of this insane journey of schooling for Jesse. We recently found out that we are expecting our fifth child and I am right around 4 months pregnant and showing big time! I am ecstatic as we thought Riya was our last child but after many prayers and promptings we knew there was one more little one to come to our ever growing family and thus here we are and I am trying to cherish every second of this pregnancy as I know this will be the last time around I get to enjoy that feeling of life growing inside of you and while I am sad that it ends a chapter in my life. I am also thankful that I am able to have one more then I thought its like this extra special bonus in life and I know we will love and cherish this little one like we love and cherish all of the other little ones we have.

As for the little ones they are doing FANTASTIC landon is in first grade and just thriving he does so well on his homework and is trying to hard to make as many friends as he can. Kyran is the little daredevil as usual and while he keeps me on my toes (and drives me INSANE) I couldnt do it without him. Zade is doing MAJOR therapy we see therapist anywhere from 3-5 times a week and he is doing SO much better. He is talking better and does so well with large groups of people. Does he still break down ABSOLUTELY but I can see improvement in him everyday and he has the biggest little heart I love watching him grow. Riya is SO big today she actually refused her high chair and opted for the big girl chair (booster seat ) she walks everywhere and tries as hard as she can to keep up to her big brothers. She is my snuggle monkey though my first few month of pregnancy I was so ill Id just lay on the couch and she would just come sit by me. If I was having a particularly rough day sometimes shed pat my head like a dog she is definately a mommys girl AND daddys girl at this point she is just a joy. but MAN that girl can lay on the drama screaming and slamming doors already lil miss is gonna be a handful.

Now for Jesses school he is doing well like everything we have had our ups and downs but we are pushing through and getting to the end only 4 MONTHS till we are DONE! I cant believe how fast it has gone but at the same time it has gone painfully slow. It has tested us in everyway you can be tested but in the end I think we are better.

So there you have it the LONG overdue update on the Mumms I will try to do better and get some more pics too. Im trying to get brave enough to put some pregnant pics up but UGH after all that work on my weight it is SO hard to see it come back! oh well that will be a whole new story right ;)