Monday, June 2, 2008

Its a hard day.....

It has been hard these past few days
Ups and downs for sure! Im so happy for Landon and his new ownership of a cat.... Im so happy for Kyran because he just LOVES to explore his new surroundings and Zade well hes an adventuror as well and just is happy in general....then theres Jesse and I am THRILLED at his oppurtunity and his education and his dreams being fulfilled how wonderful that is.... it is what we have been praying for for sooo long and now its here!
Then theres me..... and Im sure this has to relate to some kind of hormone imbalance I think.... Im just struggling Im so used to having Jesse there with me to help me and he HAS to do school and I HAVE to be the sole parent for the most part (excluding Sundays) It is hard and I suppose to a point I need to lean more on the lord but I feel so lonely I havent really been able to get out and meet alot of women and most women here seem to think Im crazy with all my kiddies I guess I just miss my old routine I miss family time, I miss the garden, I miss the camping, and dont get me started on how much I miss motorcycling oh that tops that list =D, I miss the Idaho moutains and the sunshine, I miss my family, and I miss having a YARD .....
Dont get me wrong I am grateful for this oppurtunity and the hard times those are the times that make us grow into those lovely ladies and lovely gentlemen that Heavenly Father wants us to become..... It is just hard getting there and even harder getting there when no one is physically around you well that is all for now. It will get easier day by day.... My mom always had this ruler hung up when I was a kid it read..... "Life is hard yard by yard inch by inch its a cinch" So I will go inch by inch or day by day smile and have fun like I tell everyone else to do! I love you all and miss you all!

1 comment:

Joel & Lila said...

I am sorry that things are hard now a days. I wish I could be there for you more. I am sure that there are members of the ward that would kill for friendship like you are looking for, so keep your chin up and just try to be open and friendly...you have to force yourself to go to play grounds and try to branch out and meet new people..I know it isn't ideal, but it will help. I promise!

Well, sooner or later we will be able to spend a good long weekend together...